I Need A Hero, and I Don't Mean A Sandwich!

When I was a little girl and even a young woman I dreamed of a hero, someone that would sweep me off my feet, carry me up the stairwell. As I got older I knew, in my brain, that this was a dream that could not come true, but my heart still dreamed it would come true. What I never dreamed was that I would, after being a wife, mother, friend and lover for over 25 years, be almost 50 years old and have the fears that I now have. I never dreamed that everything would rest on my shoulders, I never imagined my life as a house of cards resting on only one very shaky card that would all crash to the floor with even the slightest of wind. But here I am, almost 50, and in a few months, if things continue on the path they are on, I will be out of a job and without health insurance. I will more than likely lose this house, this is the house that I dreamed of when my life changed so radically and suddenly and I had to dream a new dream. The wind is blowing and the foundation to the house of cards is violently shaking. Funny how I am no longer able to dream, unlike Taylor Swift in her song ( White Horse ) I do not see anyone on a white horse. If there is a hero out there you should know this:
I was a dreamer until someone let me down, but this bruised and battered heart still tries to dream of a hero. I do not need you to take care of me, I do not need you to make up for the damage you did not cause. What I need is to be able to dream again, to be able to feel that hope in humanity and to be able to trust. What I need is for you to show up because that, to me, is what love does. It shows up even when things are not good, even when we don't look or feel our best, even when it's hard, just show up. The sooner the better because the house of cards is about to come down. Right now the only direction I can look in is UP.

How do you spell that?

Our computer system at work is being updated, what a nightmare. Every different program you log onto has a different password, it is a bit confusing to keep track of it all. More so for me as I have to keep track of my own and Lucian's. So he calls me for help he can't get into where he needs to be he has actually gotten himself locked out by trying soooo many different passwords so we have to do a password reset, this was not an easy task to do over the phone. I get him started by saying the technical terms of how we log on ( big waste of time he keeps saying uh-huh uh-huh, but really not so much uh-huh as far as him getting it ) each employee is assigned and ID number the first two characters of this number are that individual employee's initial, so my first two are PF, they are just mine BECAUSE they are MY initials. I was getting no where with him as far as him understanding what he needed to do so I used my own number as an example, this only made matters worse, confused him more. Finally he says maybe this is where we're supposed to put our LY # in, LY being HIS initials, I said that's what I have been trying to explain to you all along, he says no you came up with some PF thing when WE"RE supposed to put our LY # in. I said Lucian only you have an LY # I have a PF # he said why did you pick that when everybody else has an LY #, I said Lucian only you have an LY # because that's your initials, he starts laughing and says " damn all this time I thought that was just a coincidence". So I get him that far then in order to do the complete set up he has to type his full name, by this point he's done he can't process anything else, I know this for sure because he asks me " how do you spell that? " Without missing a beat I spell L U C I A N and I say-- and no it's not just a coincidence. We're both cracking up as we hang up.
You have to love this guy, everyday is an adventure :):):):)

He works in Walmart do you know him?

So today starts like most Monday's with me driving to work wishing I would hit it rich so I could just sleep a bit longer, but we all know how that turns out with me showing up for work. As usual the day just sucks until Lucian calls for me, he doesn't even know how much him being him makes my whole day turn around. You can't help but laugh and shake all the crap right off when you talk to Lucian. So he sounds upset, I can tell this because he's talking even louder than usual, you see Lucian is a bit hard of hearing so he normally talks loud (like I'm the one the needs the hearing aid ), but today he's really loud. He is trying to contact a customer that he hasn't had any contact with in a few months, and the guy owes money. He has done a bit of investigating work, note I didn't say private investigating work because Lucian just couldn't do that, first of all there is the loud talking thing and then he's the size of a mountain, would be kinda hard not to be noticed. So he's asked around through his usual suspects trying to get a line on this guy that " owes me money ", and has found out two things: 1) the guy moved to New York & 2) the guy works in a Walmart in New York. And that's where I come into play he says " I thought since you were from New York and this guy moved there and he works in Walmart I would ask you do you know this guy?" I said Lucian there is ALOT of New York and ALOT of Walmarts in New York and I have lived in North Carolina for over a year I doubt I know this guy. To which he says " See what you can find out and let me know this guy owes me money ". I just say sure I'll ask around tonight and get back to you tomorrow, and he says : " thanks baby girl drive safe and keep away from them military men "
Now I ask you how could I stay in a crappy mood after that?
So does anyone know this guy that works in Walmart in New York?

What?!

I saw an ad today for an accident lawyer, all I could say was what?!
The ad was about 4 wheeler accidents and it said " if YOU or a loved one have been seriously injured or even died as a result of an accident " on one of these 4 wheeler's then call blah blah blah! Who proofs these things? If YOU died as a result-- I guess that's why they have that 800 number so you can call from wherever you are.