Sunday, October 5, 2008
I was just talking to a friend on the phone and she reminded me of something, something very big as far as relationships go, something that is without question a deal breaker. This friend is the very best friend there is, she stood there with me in the beginning, the middle and the end. She was the one that was by my side when I began again. I am deeply blessed to have her in my life and eternally grateful. In our conversation she mentioned toenails, yep toenails are a definite deal breaker. She said ( not for the first time ) " I will never cut a man's toenails ". Many, many years ago I witnessed a wife do this for her husband and I told my friend what I had seen. We both thought it was so disgusting that a perfectly capable human being would ask another human being to cut their toenails. We have talked about that time often and she has said that she always puts that right up front to any man " I will never cut your toenails ". So if cutting a man's toenails is what it takes to make a relationship last, I guess I'm down for the count. Could that really be the secret to a lasting relationship? Nah- that can't be it, right?!
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3 comments:
Yup , not doing that toe nail thing ....
I personally dont have a problem cutting my kids toenails or even my
husbands I even use to cut my Dads
of course he was not able to do it on his own. My daughter has a huge problem with feet so Im sure It would be a deal breaker for her!
The secret to marriage? Can I venture an opinion? (Then again, isn't that what comment boxes are for?). I think the question presupposes that a succeesful marriage is a secret, something hidden. I do not believe it is.
I believe marriage problems are the result of immaturity on behalf of one or both spouse(s). We believe we go into marriage because we "love" someone. But when our needs are not met and that feeling of love isn't the same, things crumble.
Happiness is a byproduct of a life of maturity, good priorities and following the Lord. Marriage isn't so much about being in love as an agreement to love. Its something you do no matter how you feel. You look out for someone. You care for them. You give up "self" and live sacrificially for another. And when that is done by both parties, you have a perfect union.
Selfishness is why marriages dissolve. Marriages have great times and then times of stress and heartache. Its quite naive to think two sinful people can come together and create a sinless marriage. Bad times will exist - but it is in those times of darkness that two people can really grow together.
Three years ago I had a cancer in my left arm. After it was removed, the doctor told me the skin there will be stronger than it was before the trauma. I think marriages work the same way. When we go through those darks times and come out of them still committed to one another, the bond is stronger BECAUSE of the trauma, the lessons and hard times.
The "secret" then? mutual committment, self sacrifice and respect, loving God and realize you are married to His child so you better treat them with respect.
Self-giving and love enriches a marriage. Jesus set the supreme example of this. Ephesians chapter 5 sets up God's blue print for marriage. Its hardly a secret - its just difficult to follow so we often look elsewhere.
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interest but also to the interest of others" (Phillipians 2:3-4; 2 Corinthians 5:15).
The best part? Is that when we live out the life a perfect God (who can't be wrong) asks of us, the feelings tend to follow our actions. And if they don't - so what. Who are we living for anyone? Ourselves or God? If we are living for ourselves, we have bigger problems than a bad marriage.
Now with that in mind, if I object to trimming toe nails, I have to ask why. I suspect the answer must have to do with me thinking I"m somehow above that - but then I remember my Savior washing the lowly disciples feet. And if I"m to act like Him, and I"m not willing to be humble and sacrificial, then I have a problem.
My two cents,
Love,
John
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