Where the cabinet's meet

There's a spot in the kitchen of the old house where the cabinet's come together at a 90 degree angle, this was my safe zone. Whenever the depth of despair became so overwhelming that I didn't know what to do I sat there, on the floor, in the place where the cabinet's meet. Sometimes I would just sit, others I would cry and then there were the times that I sobbed, big wracking, chest heaving sobs. The more I sobbed the further I would try to push myself into that place where the cabinet's meet. This is where my youngest son found me when he returned from college, I will never forget the look of raw pain on his face. I felt guilty, I felt that my pain was causing his pain, to some degree it was but he had his own. He sat there with me, we did that many times. Sometimes we just sat, sometimes I cried, sometimes we talked and sometimes we even laughed. It breaks my heart to imagine his pain. When he left for college we were his intact family, we were what we had always been, and I believe that fact was something he depended on, that we would be what we always were, a family. When he came home from college the family as he knew it was gone, he had been gone through most of the unraveling. He didn't experience it in bits and pieces he got it as one lump sum. I can't even begin to know how he dealt with that, but he did. We would sit there in that place and over time we laughed more and I cried less, we remembered all that was good. One day he said "Mama I have a song for you" I went into his room and he had down loaded a song for me it was Hey Mama by Kanye West, I probably would have not known that song had he not given it to me. These are Kanye's words not mine so I write them the way he sings them and I cherish the memory of the day my son gave them to me. Kanye sings " Hey Mama I wanna scream so loud for you cause I'm so proud of you " " You never put no man over me and I love you for that Mommy can't you see " "Caught you with tears in your eyes cause a nigga's cheating and telling you lies then I started to cry as we knelt on the kitchen floor and I said Mommy I'm gonna love you till you don't hurt no more " As I said those are Kanye's words and that is one boy that loved his Mama, and my boy loves me, both of my boys do, so really what did I lose? It was after he gave me that song that I stopped sitting on the kitchen floor in the place where the cabinet's meet.